Office War

What is in that bitch's head? Lowering me like that? Make me lose face and lose faith in her. All this time I'm trying to be nice with her. But look, she's snipes me when she has the chance to. It seems like an advice, but I don't really believe it is an advice.

What?
I keep downloading at work? You think it's for whom?
I keep Facebook-ing at work? You did worse. And for the record I didn't Facebook when I'm on jobs.
I'm modifying the office PC? Hey, I helped you when your PC hanged and lagged. Thanks to whom, your PC is good again? The IT guy? Nah, he never bother.

You see, this is why it is important to be someone higher than others in the office. Well, that bitch is older in age (old bitch!), so she thinks she have the right to nag me. Hah! Dream on, bitch! Even my mother nag better than you.

Well, all I can say, in this wretched office environment, everyone is being plastic and hypocrites. And I hate my life now. I might end it one day.

ごきげんよう!

SPM

My baby brother is sitting for SPM this year. It is tough for him, yes I know. My mom keep nagging me to help him in his revisions, but I can't really push him my way, can I? He already have his tuition classes, at more than 2 tuition centres, so I don't really bother. But my mom's nagging is very annoying.

However, each time I teach him or guide his revision, he seems like he know nothing of what is in front of him, like never attended the whole lesson. Am I hallucinating? No. I suspected he'd been dallying around in his lessons. And I'm afraid that my thought is becoming true.

I really love him, compare to my brother below me. Yes, I admit that I'm a bit bias in love for my brothers. Who doesn't love her baby brother? Even so, I'm starting to worry of his future, for he is too spoilt by my parents, compared to me and his big brother. He has no future plans, just being a fan of motorcycles, cars and music. I don't think he can make a career out of those three. I just can't see it. 

So, what he is going to be? Pursuing tourism just like me? Seems like a plan, however, he's not interested. 

I don't really know, exactly. I just hope he will succeed in whatever he'll pursue in the future and never regretting like I once did.

Handling Bossy People (not your boss!)

I hate people bossing me around when they have no right to do so!

So, I came up with some ideas (which is passive, I think) to pay them back!

• Order them around without them realizing
• Take every chance to make them do something for you
• Take every chance to refuse their demands, whenever possible
• Learn to insistingly say 'NO!'
• Ignore them up to 3 times, when they are calling for you in one time.
• Search for their weaknesses and use it against them whenever possible
• Be confident! Importantly, NO MERCY!

That's it! That's all I can think of. If it doesn't work, please tell me. Let's control the population of this bossy species. It's not like I hate following orders, but when they went overboard, that's where I think you should act. And when you try implementing my ideas to your subjects, just make sure you don't make yourself look bad. Be as covert as possible! Good luck, cadet! 

Good day!

Cleaning Up the MESS

In my head, it's messier...

It is already a month since I've completed my internship. This also mark a month of my job at the same workplace. Yes, I already received my first ouh-I'm-so-excited salary. Not much but enough for me. Everything remain the same except there are more work now, and more trust.

I'm being lazy on my crochet work, so I'm unprocrochetinating on my projects. Busy with life does not include my projects, lately it seems.

Enough babbling. Yesterday, my same-age cousin got engaged with a Johorean. Makes me think WHEN will be my time. Damn it! Damn it all. OK, I admit that I'm jealous. Maybe mine is being someone's before being mine. I met many ungentle guys in my entire life. I rather be in friends with those guys so I can casually smack their faces without being sued. I can handle rude friends but not rude lovers. I'm not an M.

Blogging at work makes me feel mature. Yup, it is only imaginary. I'm still young, I can imagine anything that I want! I really don't wanna be older. But if time stops, there will be no progression in what I did and there will be no chance for me to do other stuff... Yes, I imagine when time stops, everybody is frozen, in time.

Babbling again. Sorry. I'm cleaning my thoughts, that's why I'm posting this mess here. So feel free to read it and if you are kind enough please help me sort it out.

Internship

It's already a month! I've got 3 months more to complete my internship.

I am an intern in a ground operation company. An intermediate between travel agencies and clients. More to a tour wholesaler, though.

I don't know if  it's legal to mention the company's name, but I choose not to because it might end up bad.

Well, my time here is great. Not too many work I need to do. But sometimes bored with no task at hand. I always ask for any task that can be done by me. I'm a person who cannot sit still, or I'll be drifted toMaybe I'm not much of help because I just started this internship a month ago.

Maybe next time I'll can give my best shot and can be of help to everyone in this office.

I've got my own mission after all.

Pray for my success!

MUET

MUET. Mine is on the July session.

Why should I be the one who bears all the mistakes? I'm tired of all of these. You must be wondering why...

You know MUET? It's Malaysian University English Test. Yeah, I haven't sit for it even though I'm already in the final year of university.

You see, my brother too sit for MUET this year. Yes, with me. At the same school. Our previous school. I know I am the one to blame, cause I delay in registering for that damn thing. But why is everybody angry with me? That brother of mine did the same thing too. He delayed his registration too. But why he's not being yell at? Because he's your dear, Mom? What about me, then? Somebody else's shit?

My mom suddenly yell at me just because I procrastinate. I know I'm a lady now, but you see, I'm not the kind of a girl that just accept what people throw at me. I still think I'm immature. Still lots to learn. But why so serious? I just don't like that. I'm just hoping that my parents be nice when asking about or ordering about that doesn't concern their future. She's mad at me like I'm doing something horrible. My father too blame me for what just happened. "You shouldn't do this!""Why are you behaving like this?""If you don't wanna do it, just tell me earlier, I can save my money!!"etc...

That makes me thinking, should I do something bad? The outcome will be the same anyway - being yell at.

I just registered for MUET just now. We are going to sit for it this July. I hope I can get off day for it. I'm starting my practical next Monday.

P/S: All of the things that happened in my life makes me stronger and more stubborn. I tend to solve problems with silence. Silence is virtue, right? I don't like being a girlish lady, but rather be a wise one. I don't like being a grown-up, but being a girl forever will not get you anywhere. Just let me be me, procrastinate and all, because I can only process info slowly, but I'll get there in time.

P P/s: Please understand me MORE, my dear parents. I can hate people easily, I know I have no place to say this but I am sure you don't understand me well, because I feel abandoned at times. I always try to understand your thoughts and feelings even though it's not very clear or I force my way through it. I'm not fine being hated, and I know you scold me to teach me, but please refrain using that fucking-sarcasm-cursing words that you forbid us to use.


Good night, my readers. To friends who read this, thank you for being a caring friend. Salam to you.

Shutting out REALITY

It have been a hard week for this family. Common problem, impossible to solve - MONEY. I don't know how to solve it with my immature mind. It's true, since my parents never let me feel the extreme hardship they face for living.

I want to do something to lessen my mom's finance. I can't think of anything. If only my trip to Kuching, Sarawak need no money and my st*pid bro didn't make problem. You know, he wreck his friend's car. Yes, that require lots of money. Lots.

I saw my mom cried and I think it's time I really need to find something to make money. I'm good at crocheting but I don't have enough enthusiasm to make lots of products at a time.

My last hope is becoming a runner; selling nasi lemak in the college. MYR10 for an hour, 3 days a week seems fair to me. This time, I won't tell my mother. It's a good way to exercise too. You would do it to, coz you you can exercise and getting money!

OK, even though I'm feeling like abandoning that idiot, he's still my brother. It's painful to see when my mother is ignoring that idiot. I just hope he ask for forgiveness from Mom A.S.A.P.

I'm in dilemma. But you know, all of them are family. I just hope there's a light at the end of this horrible tunnel.